By Jim Hall MS, Love Addiction Specialist
How can you know if you are a love addict?
The following love addiction test could help you determine whether you might or might not be a love addict. Take this test by reading each statement/question and answering with a Yes or No. * Feel free to print this page.
- I repeatedly fall into hurtful, destructive relationships. Yes __ No __
- I typically fall in love, get crushes on, or obsess on unavailable/avoidant individuals. Yes __ No __
- I tend to rush into love relationships too quickly without truly getting to know my partner.
Yes __ No __
- I get stuck in relationships that aren't going anywhere. Yes __ No __
- I tend to fall for partners who cannot or will not love me in return. Yes __ No __
- I let fantasies take the place of real relationships. Yes __ No __
- I have a great fear of being alone. Yes __ No __
- I feel lonely and unhappy when I am not in a relationship (single). Yes __ No __
- I crave intensity in relationships while fearing true intimacy/little sharing of real substance.
Yes __ No __
- When I love someone, I fear he/she will find someone better than me. Yes __ No __
- I panic at the thought of my partner not loving me; eventually 'abandoning' me. Yes __ No __
- I become so preoccupied in fulfilling the expectations of my partner that I lose touch with my feelings. Yes __ No __
- I often need constant approval and reassurance from my partner to feel secure and good about myself. Yes __ No __
- I tend to use a love relationship to help me feel alive, worthy, and valuable. Yes __ No __
- I tend to compromise my values and integrity to avoid being alone; left or abandoned.
Yes __ No __
- I seem to always fall for relationship partners who are Narcissistic or Grandiose ("It's all about him/or her"). Yes __ No __
- I can often be demanding; suffocating and smothering my partner in relationships. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty letting go of a romantic relationship as I feel I cannot survive without him or her; because it is too
painful to end it; even if I know he/she is bad for me. Yes __ No __
- I tend to use fantasy in place of true love and intimacy. Yes __ No __
- I crave love/intimacy/closeness but run from (sabotage) it at the same time. Yes __ No __
- My relationships feel like a roller coaster of highs & lows (mostly lows) with an anxiety-ridden push-pull dynamic. Yes __ No __
- I believe being love means to have extreme chemistry, passion, or intensity. Yes __ No __
- I tolerate intolerable or unacceptable behaviors in relationships. Yes __ No __
- I tend to minimize or ignore obvious "red flags" of a potential relationship partner (i.e., addictions, unhealthy attitudes, past relationship patterns, destructive behaviors) and only see what I want to see in him/her. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty with loving myself and need constant validation from my partner to feel worthy. Yes __ No __
- I have difficulty setting appropriate boundaries in relationships. Yes __ No __
- I have trouble taking care of my own needs and wants and place my partner's needs and wants, over my own. Yes __ No __
- I tend to idealize my partner; put him/her on a pedestal; see them as stronger or "better than," and me as weaker and "less-than.”
Yes __ No __
- Despite the evidence, I often tell myself my relationship will get better; that my partner will be like he or she was in the beginning.
Yes __ No __
- I tend to give too much, do too much for my partner while receiving less and less. Yes __ No __
- I often take full responsibility for problems in my relationships, or I hold my partner fully responsible for all of the issues in the
relationship. Yes __ No __
- I often try to change, convince, or control my partner so they will fulfill my fantasy of what I want him/her to be. Yes __ No __
- I tend to give up or disregard personal goals, likes, values, needs/wants while placing all my focus on my relationship. Yes __ No __
- During a breakup or divorce, I tend to experience intense withdrawal symptoms (i.e., obsession, loneliness, despair, depression, loss of identity; the desperate need to reestablish contact ex-partner for relief). Yes __ No __
* If you answered Yes to at least five of these statements, you may be a love addict. If you’re a love addict - there is an answer, RECOVERY. And you are at the right place to find possible answers and guidance to break free.
About the Author:
Jim Hall MS, Love Addiction Expert, Masters in Counseling/Therapy, Online Relationship Coach, and the author of three Books on Love Addiction and Recovery. Through his writings and Online Recovery Practice, Jim uses his skills and wisdom to help love addicts overcome addictive love and gain the skills and self-assurance to improve their love lives.
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