Avoidant vs Narcissist: How to Tell the Difference (And Why It Matters)
By Jim Hall, M.S.—Love Addiction & Attachment Recovery Coach
Published: November 30, 2025
You're not here because you're curious. You're here because something in your relationship is leaving you baffled, confused, even "crazy"—and you need to know whether there's hope or if you need to get out.
That's the real question underneath "Is my partner avoidant or a narcissist?" You're trying to figure out whether the person you love is struggling with intimacy but capable of change, or whether you're being manipulated by someone who will never see you as more than a source of supply to feed their fragile ego.
The bottom line: Both avoidant partners and narcissists are emotionally unavailable, distant, and resistant to intimacy. But the reasons are fundamentally different.
Avoidant attachment is fear-based—intimacy and closeness feel unsafe or threatening to their safety or autonomy. Narcissism is entitlement-based—where relationships are transactional, and closeness threatens their need for control.
Put simply:
- Not all avoidants are narcissists.
- Nearly all narcissists behave in avoidant ways and sabotage intimacy in relationships.
That difference matters. It can determine whether a relationship has potential for genuine healing—or whether staying risks deeper emotional harm.
Understanding who you're dealing with changes everything—how you communicate, whether couples work can help, and whether it's safe to stay.
What's in This Article
- Is My Partner Avoidant or a Narcissist? The Quick Answer
- Avoidant Attachment vs Narcissism: What's the Difference?
- The Two Faces of Narcissism: Why This Gets Confusing
- 5 Critical Differences Between Avoidants and Narcissists
- Real-Life Examples: Avoidant vs Narcissistic Relationships
- Can Avoidants Be Narcissists?
- How to Tell If Your Partner Is Avoidant or Narcissistic: 5 Questions
- Gaslighting: Avoidant vs Narcissist Patterns
- Love Bombing vs Early Avoidant Warmth
- What Helps If Your Partner Is Avoidant
- How to Protect Yourself from a Narcissistic Partner
- Why You Can't "Just Leave" (And Why That's Normal)
- Dating an Avoidant vs Dating a Narcissist: Red Flags
- What If You See Yourself in These Patterns?
- Key Takeaways
Is My Partner Avoidant or a Narcissist? The Quick Answer
If you're asking this question at 2 am after another confusing interaction, here's what you need to know:
Your partner is likely avoidant (not narcissistic) if:
- They are emotionally distant or pull away when things get too close
- They tend to shut down, ignore, and avoid deep conflict.
- They are more capable of taking accountability after cooling down
- They are consistently avoidant with most people, not just you
- They sabotage intimacy through distancing, evading vulnerability, and, less likely, through manipulation
- They might be able to work through their fear with safety, patience, and skills work (if willing)
Your partner is likely a narcissist if:
- They pull away to punish, control, or maintain superiority
- They blame-shift, deny, or retaliate if you confront, disagree, or set boundaries
- They're different in public (nice, likable, caring) but devaluing in private
- They use gaslighting, guilt, and love-bombing to get needs met
- Change is rare, fragile, and typically short-lived
Still unsure? Keep reading—the five core differences below will help you see clearly.
Avoidant Attachment vs Narcissism: What's the Difference?
Before diving deeper, let's clarify what these terms actually mean.
Avoidant attachment is an attachment style—a relational pattern rooted in early caregiving experiences where emotional needs were dismissed, punished, or simply unmet. It sits on a continuum and is not a psychiatric diagnosis. Many avoidantly attached people are caring and capable of growth; they struggle with closeness because closeness feels unsafe (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a diagnosable personality disorder marked by pervasive grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), a need for admiration, and impaired empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present across contexts (American Psychiatric Association, 2022). Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Some display traits; fewer meet full diagnostic criteria. When entrenched, NPD is resistant to change.
Key distinction: Avoidant attachment is characterized by fear of intimacy and closeness. Narcissism is an entitlement structure. While fear drives the avoidant person away from connection, entitlement and lack of empathy drive the narcissistic person to exploit connections for personal gain, status, and validation.
Shared Terrain: 3 Areas Avoidants and Narcissists Overlap
Despite crucial differences, avoidants and narcissists can display similar patterns in relationships.
Fragile Self-Esteem
- Narcissists: Outwardly self-assured; inwardly brittle and shame-based. Criticism—real or imagined—or even disagreeing, having a differing viewpoint or opinion, threatens their self-image and may trigger rage, contempt, or manipulation (Cain, Pincus, & Ansell, 2008; Miller et al., 2017).
- Avoidants: Tend to hold deep beliefs of being unlovable, inadequate, or a burden. They manage this by over-relying on independence, productivity, or numbing/compulsive behaviors to avoid shame and exposure (Mikulincer & Shaver, 2016).
Attraction to the Same Partners
Both are frequently drawn to partners with anxious attachment, codependency, and love-addiction patterns—people who over-give, minimize their needs, and tolerate too much in hopes of connection or change. The anxious partner chases and desires a close connection; the avoidant or narcissist distances and minimizes connection. The anxious-avoidant dance locks in.
Resistance to Help
Both may resist therapy—avoidants due to fear of vulnerability and often downplay the need for help; narcissists frequently view therapy as an attack on their self-perception of superiority, and their lack of empathy makes it difficult to engage in introspection and accept accountability.
The Two Faces of Narcissism: Why This Gets Confusing
Here's something that often trips people up—and that many articles on this topic miss entirely.
Researchers have identified two distinct subtypes of narcissism, and they look very different in relationships:
Grandiose narcissism is what most people picture: overt superiority, arrogance, charm, dominance, and entitlement. These individuals project confidence and openly pursue admiration. They're often easier to identify because the grandiosity is visible.
Vulnerable narcissism is covert, shame-driven, and much harder to spot. These individuals still have the core narcissistic features—entitlement, impaired empathy, need for validation—but they're wrapped in insecurity, hypersensitivity to criticism, and victimhood. They may appear sensitive, anxious, wounded, or even self-deprecating on the surface.
Why this matters for you: Research shows that vulnerable or covert narcissism correlates significantly with insecure attachment styles, while grandiose narcissism often does not (Miller et al., 2017). --Grandiose narcissists tend to mask their core insecurity with overt arrogance, "better-than" position, and extraversion
This means a partner with vulnerable narcissistic traits may look more like an avoidant—withdrawn, sensitive, seemingly fearful—while still operating from entitlement, lack of empathy, and exploitation underneath.
This is precisely why the confusion between avoidant and narcissist is so common. A covert/vulnerable narcissist can mimic avoidant patterns while hiding the manipulation and entitlement beneath a veneer of woundedness.
The tell: With a genuinely avoidant partner, you'll see fear driving the distance and expression of vulnerability. With a vulnerable narcissist, you'll eventually notice that their "sensitivity" only flows one direction—they expect endless empathy, attention, and validation for their wounds while showing little genuine empathy for yours. Their victimhood becomes a tool for control.
5 Critical Differences Between Avoidants and Narcissists
This comparison breaks down the core differences between dismissive avoidant partners and narcissistic partners:
| Area | Avoidant Partner | Narcissistic Partner |
|---|---|---|
|
Why they distance |
Fear of engulfment, rejection, vulnerability |
To preserve superiority, control, or exploit |
|
Empathy capacity |
Present but suppressed |
Impaired; may deploy empathy for image |
|
Public vs private |
Consistently reserved across settings |
Charming publicly; devaluing privately |
|
Harm pattern |
Withdrawal, stonewalling (self-protective) |
Gaslighting, manipulation, coercive control (exploitative) |
|
Ability to change |
Growth is possible with motivation |
Change is rare; sustained work is crucial |
1. Why They Create Distance
The avoidant partner withdraws from closeness because it triggers fear—fear of being engulfed, rejected, criticized, or ultimately abandoned. Their nervous system learned early that depending on others leads to pain. The protective strategy is deactivation: downplaying needs, suppressing attachment longings, and choosing autonomy to stay emotionally safe.
The narcissistic partner avoids true intimacy to preserve superiority and maintain control. Other people are valued instrumentally—for admiration, status, sex, or resources. Vulnerability is viewed as weakness. Closeness is transactional, not connective.
What this means for you: Avoidant distancing is more likely to soften when you create consistent safety and repair ruptures calmly and respectfully — not always; this may depend on where they are on the spectrum of avoidance, from my experience. Narcissistic distance typically intensifies when admiration wanes or when you assert boundaries.
2. Empathy and Accountability
The avoidant partner has capacity for empathy—it's just inhibited by shame and fear of vulnerability. When trust builds, and they feel safe from criticism, empathy can grow. Accountability is uncomfortable for them, but possible. Where they are at on a spectrum matters.
The narcissistic partner has impaired empathy—or deploys it selectively for image management. Responsibility is externalized. Blame-shifting and moral disengagement are standard operating procedures.
What this means for you: When you share hurt calmly with an avoidant, they may initially deflect but often circle back to acknowledge your experience. When you share hurt with a narcissist, expect denial, counter-attack, or DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender).
3. Public vs Private Persona
The avoidant partner is relatively consistent across relationships on the outside—reserved, focused on self-reliance, and emotionally cautious with most people. Your friends see roughly the same person you see at home.
The narcissistic partner maintains a sharp split. They're charming, charismatic, and generous in public. In private, they're critical, controlling, and dismissive. If you're in a relationship with a narcissist, you may feel like they live with two completely different people—and no one believes you when you try to explain.
What this means for you: If your partner is wonderful, seemingly likable, and caring at dinner parties but is controlling, manipulative, and tears you down the moment you're alone, that incongruence is a major red flag-- narcissism.
4. Abuse Potential and Manipulation Tactics
The avoidant partner can cause real harm in a relationship—through chronic distancing and evading intimacy, mixed signals, stonewalling, or sexual and emotional shutdown. But these behaviors are typically self-protective rather than predatory. This doesn't mean it is okay or workable for you—and it's not personal—they're trying to manage their own overwhelming fear of closeness, not manipulate you.
The narcissistic partner is more likely to employ strategic manipulation: gaslighting, love-bombing, followed by devaluation, triangulation (using others to create jealousy or insecurity), silent treatments as punishment, and coercive control. The risk of emotional and psychological abuse is significantly higher.
What this means for you: Feeling lonely and confused in a relationship is painful when your partner is avoidant. Feeling like you're losing your grip on reality because your partner systematically gaslights, belittles, or blames, never taking accountability (narcissistic partner)—that's a different category of harm entirely.
5. Can They Change?
The avoidant partner: With genuine motivation, psychoeducation, corrective emotional experiences, and consistent practice, many avoidantly attached people develop what researchers call earned security. This isn't quick—it takes sustained effort, personal responsibility, and often professional support—but it's achievable if they are open and willing.
The narcissistic partner: Possible but very unlikely. Change requires sustained humility, genuine empathy, and radical accountability—requirements that directly contradict the disorder's core defenses. Progress is possible in some cases but uncommon, and even when it occurs, it's often short-lived and fragile without strong ongoing incentives.
Real-Life Examples: Avoidant vs Narcissistic Relationships
Names and details changed. Composite illustrations from my professional experience.
The Avoidant Relationship: Lena & Mark
Lena, who struggles with anxious attachment, met Mark at a friend's gathering. He was thoughtful, steady, and attentive. Their first few months were warm—late-night conversations, shared playlists, weekend hikes. Lena felt seen.
As the relationship deepened, something shifted. Mark started working late more often. He would cancel plans. Conversations became surface-level. Physical affection dropped off. When Lena tried to address it, Mark apologized but seemed lost: "I'm not good at this emotional stuff. I need some space."
In therapy, Mark traced his discomfort to childhood. His parents weren't cruel—just emotionally absent. Feelings were ignored or dismissed. He learned to handle everything alone.
With gradual work—weekly check-ins, structured repair conversations, and learning skills in nervous system regulation—Mark became more emotionally available. It wasn't linear. There were setbacks. But the trajectory was toward connection.
The takeaway: Fear-driven distance can soften with safety, pacing, skill-building, and patience.
The Narcissistic Relationship: Riley & Devon
Riley described meeting Devon as "movie magic." Within two weeks: extravagant dates, constant texting, talk of soulmates and destiny. Devon seemed to see Riley in a way no one else ever had.
After moving in together—quickly—the script flipped, and Devon seemed to become a whole different person. Devon critiqued Riley's clothes, friends, and career choices. In public, Devon was affectionate and generous. In private, the put-downs and control methods were relentless.
When Riley tried to address concerns, Devon accused Riley of being "too sensitive," "dramatic," and "impossible to please." Events Riley clearly remembered were denied: "That never happened. You're imagining things."
Devon flirted openly with others and insisted it was harmless—that Riley's discomfort was a "jealousy problem." Couples therapy became a performance in which Devon charmed the therapist, while Riley felt crazy.
When Riley finally set firm boundaries, Devon's behavior escalated—into rage, threats, and a smear campaign against mutual friends.
The takeaway: Entitlement-driven exploitation creates a predictable cycle: idealize → devalue → discard. The manipulation is strategic, not defensive.
Can Avoidants Be Narcissists?
Yes—but it's not automatic, and the relationship between these patterns is more nuanced than most articles suggest.
Some avoidantly attached people also have narcissistic traits or meet criteria for NPD. The two aren't mutually exclusive. However, avoidant attachment alone doesn't make someone a narcissist. In fact, research shows that avoidant attachment sometimes correlates negatively with narcissistic traits—meaning many avoidants are the opposite of narcissistic.
The overlap occurs most often with vulnerable narcissism—the covert, shame-driven subtype. Someone with this pattern may appear withdrawn, wounded, and fearful (like an avoidant), while still operating from a sense of entitlement beneath the surface.
The question to ask: Is this person protecting themselves from vulnerability (avoidant), or exploiting others to maintain their self-image (narcissist)?
Signs you may be dealing with vulnerable narcissism disguised as avoidance:
- Their sensitivity only works one way—they expect empathy but rarely offer it genuinely
- They position themselves as the victim even when they've caused harm
- Their "fear of closeness" conveniently excuses all accountability
- Criticism of them is devastating; criticism from them is constant
- They use their wounds as leverage rather than as something to heal
If your partner withdraws and gaslights, devalues, and retaliates when you set boundaries, you may be dealing with narcissism presenting through avoidant behavior—not simple attachment fear.
How to Tell If Your Partner Is Avoidant or Narcissistic: 5 Questions
When you're emotionally invested, clarity is hard to come by. These questions help:
1. When I calmly share that something hurt me, what happens?
- Avoidant: May initially deflect, but can return and acknowledge your experience and attempt repair (even though uncomfortable)
- Narcissist: Denies, blame-shifts, retaliates, or flips to victimhood
2. Is there a significant gap between their public and private persona?
- Avoidant: Generally consistent—reserved (limits vulnerability) with most people
- Narcissist: Charming externally; critical, cold, or cruel when alone with you
3. How do they respond when I set a boundary?
- Avoidant: Uncomfortable, may need time to process, but can eventually adjust
- Narcissist: Punishes, ridicules, gaslights, ignores, or escalates
4. Can they take genuine accountability—not performative apologies, but real ownership?
- Avoidant: Difficult, but possible with trust and safety
- Narcissist: Rare; apologies are typically strategic, followed by repeat behavior
5. What does my body tell me after time together?
- With avoidants: You may feel lonely, tense, disconnected, and frustrated
- With narcissists: Many report dread, hypervigilance, walking on eggshells, and feeling "crazy"
* You may experience emotional highs and lows with both
Bonus question for vulnerable narcissism: Does their vulnerability create space for yours, or does it crowd yours out? A genuinely avoidant person may struggle to express emotions but may eventually make room for your concerns. A vulnerable narcissist's wounds always take center stage—yours are an inconvenience or a threat.
Gaslighting: Avoidant vs Narcissist Patterns
Both avoidant and narcissistic partners can make you feel like your reality is being dismissed. But the intent differs.
Avoidant dismissiveness: Your partner minimizes or dismisses your feelings ("You're overreacting," "It wasn't a big deal") to escape the discomfort of emotional intensity. This feels like gaslighting, but the driver is their fear and avoidance of vulnerability, not an intentional attempt to control.
Narcissistic gaslighting: Your partner systematically distorts reality to control you, preserve their superior self-image, and extract compliance. They deny events you clearly remember, rewrite history, and make you doubt your own perception. The goal is domination, not escape.
The key difference: Avoidant dismissiveness is defensive. Narcissistic gaslighting is offensive—a calculated tool of manipulation.
Love Bombing vs Early Avoidant Warmth
"It was so intense at the beginning" doesn't automatically mean narcissism.
Early avoidant warmth: Some avoidants appear unusually open and connected early in relationships—before the relationship has progressed. As emotional stakes rise and vulnerability becomes real, their defenses activate, and they pull back. This feels like bait-and-switch, but it's not strategic or intentional—it's their nervous system reacting to perceived danger.
Narcissistic love bombing: The excessive charm, intensity, future-faking ("I've never felt this way," "We're soulmates"), and constant attention are deployed strategically to create dependency and secure narcissistic supply. Once you're hooked, criticism and withdrawal follow.
How to tell the difference: Love bombing typically includes premature intensity (moving fast), excessive flattery that feels almost too perfect, and subtle pressure to commit before you're ready. Avoidant early warmth tends to be a genuine connection that simply can't sustain itself once real intimacy threatens.
What Helps If Your Partner Is Avoidant
If your partner is genuinely avoidant (not narcissistic), change is possible, not guaranteed. Here's what helps:
Name the pattern gently. Share observations without diagnosing: "When conversations get emotional, I notice you go quiet and pull away. I miss you when that happens."
Pace intimacy deliberately. Flooding an avoidant with emotional intensity backfires. Use regular, scheduled connection rituals—15-minute daily check-ins, designated time for physical affection—that don't overwhelm their system.
Use secure communication. Be direct and respectful in communicating. Specific requests beat vague complaints. "I" statements reduce defensiveness. Build in time-outs with committed return times so withdrawal doesn't feel like abandonment.
Build regulation skills together. Both partners benefit from learning to regulate their nervous systems: breathing techniques, grounding exercises, movement, and cold water. Practice rupture-repair cycles so conflict becomes survivable.
Get professional support. Individual therapy to process attachment history; couples work to build safety, boundaries, and micro-intimacy practices.
Know your limits. If stonewalling, chronic distance, or emotional/sexual refusal never shifts despite your consistent, healthy efforts over a significant time, honestly assess whether this relationship can meet your needs. Love alone isn't enough. And just because their intimacy sabotage isn't intentional doesn't mean it has to work for you—your needs matter.
How to Protect Yourself from a Narcissistic Partner
With a narcissistic partner, the priority is your safety and sanity—not fixing them.
Stop arguing with distortions. You cannot reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into. Set short, firm limits: "I won't continue this conversation while I'm being called names. I'm taking a break."
Boundaries need consequences. A boundary without a result is a wish. Decide in advance what you'll do if the line is crossed—and follow through.
Document patterns. Especially if finances, custody, or your reputation are at risk. Keep records.
Avoid JADE. Don't Justify, Argue, Defend, or Explain. Brief, neutral responses ("That's not going to work for me") deny the engagement they're seeking.
Build your support system. Therapy, support groups, trusted friends. Isolation is the narcissist's ally—connection is your protection.
Have an exit plan. If abuse is escalating, consult legal and advocacy resources. Plan a safe exit.
Remember this: Trauma history may explain someone's behavior. It never excuses abuse. You are allowed to leave a relationship that is harming you, even if you understand why they are the way they are.
Why You Feel You Can't "Just Leave" (And Why That's Normal)
If you've read this far and you're thinking, "I know I should leave, but I can't"—I want you to know something important.
That's not a weakness. That's neurobiology.
Attachment bonds are processed in the same brain regions as addiction. When you're bonded to someone—even someone who hurts you—leaving triggers withdrawal symptoms that feel life-threatening to your nervous system. The obsessive thoughts, the physical pain, the desperate urge to go back... that's not you being stupid or weak. That's your brain in withdrawal.
This is especially true if you have anxious attachment or love addiction patterns. Your system is wired to attach intensely and to experience separation as danger. Breaking a trauma bond requires more than willpower—it requires understanding why you're hooked, building support systems, and learning to tolerate the withdrawal without acting on it.
Don't shame or beat yourself up for staying longer than you "should" have. And you're not broken if leaving feels impossible right now.
But you do deserve more than this. What you need and want in a relationship matters.
If you need support and guidance, learn about my love addiction coaching services here.
Dating an Avoidant vs Dating a Narcissist: Red Flags
If you're single and trying to avoid repeating old patterns, watch for these early signs:
Watch the pace. Intensity and speed are red flags. Genuine intimacy grows and takes time—it doesn't sprint to commitment in two weeks.
Look for congruence. Are their words, actions, and treatment of servers, friends, and family aligned? Incongruence is a warning sign.
Test repair early. Bring up a small concern before you're deeply invested. Does your date listen, consider, and adjust—or mock, dismiss, blame, or retaliate?
Trust your nervous system. Feeling settled, curious, safe, and seen is a green flag. Feeling euphoric-then-chaotic, or tense and numb, is a red flag sign.
Notice who's doing the work. Are they curious about you, or do conversations always center on them? Do they ask you questions and remember your answers?
Watch how they handle their own wounds. Someone working on their avoidant patterns will acknowledge the struggle and engage despite their discomfort. Someone with vulnerable narcissism will weaponize their wounds to avoid accountability.
What If You See Yourself in These Patterns?
If you recognize avoidant tendencies in yourself: your longing for connection isn't broken—it's guarded. With compassionate, consistent work, many people develop a sense of earned security. You're not doomed to repeat your patterns forever—but taking personal responsibility is essential.
If you recognize narcissistic traits that are harming others and your relationships, meaningful change requires radical accountability, sustained humility, and empathy development under skilled clinical care. It's hard. It's uncomfortable. But it starts with honest self-examination and a genuine willingness to see how your behavior affects others.
Key Takeaways
- Both avoidants and narcissists tend to be emotionally unavailable—but for very different reasons.
- Avoidant distancing is fear-based and can soften with personal responsibility, safety, patience, and skill-building.
- Narcissistic distance is entitlement-based and commonly includes manipulation and psychological abuse.
- Vulnerable narcissism (covert, shame-driven) can mimic avoidant patterns—watch for one-directional empathy and weaponized victimhood.
- Use patterns over time, not single incidents, to assess what you're dealing with (avoidance or narcissism).
- Your boundaries, well-being, and safety are the priority (your most important focus)—not getting the label exactly right.
- You're allowed to leave a relationship that hurts you, where your needs are unmet, even if you care for or love them, even if you understand why they are the way they are (empathy and self-care and boundaries can go hand in hand).
Diagnosis of NPD is the responsibility of qualified professionals. Whatever the label, your well-being is what matters most and is not negotiable.
If You're Still Reading This at 2 am...
You're not crazy. You're not "too sensitive." And you're not imagining things. You're reading this because you sense that something is off for you.
The fact that you searched for this article—that you're trying to make sense of what's happening in your relationship—tells me something important about you: you haven't given up on yourself, even when someone has made you doubt your own reality.
I've been where you are. Not as an expert looking in from the outside—as someone who lived it. I went through residential treatment for love addiction before I ever picked up a textbook. I got my master's in counseling psychology specifically because I wanted to help people navigate what nearly broke me.
For over 15 years, I've worked with people in exactly your situation: smart, loving people who can't understand why they keep ending up in relationships that leave them feeling empty, anxious, or like they're losing their mind.
Here's what I know: Understanding the pattern is the first step. But information alone doesn't heal you. You need someone who gets it—both professionally and personally—to help you break the cycle for good.
Not sure what you’re dealing with?
Take my quick 2-minute Avoidant Attachment Quiz to get clarity:
👉 Take the Avoidant Attachment Quiz
If you're ready to stop spinning and start healing, I offer one-on-one coaching for people recovering from love addiction, anxious attachment, and toxic relationship patterns.
Consider if 1-1 relationship coaching with me is the right next step for you.
References
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Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Parent-child attachment and healthy human development. Basic Books.
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Campbell, W. K., & Foster, C. A. (2002). Narcissism and commitment in romantic relationships: An investment model analysis. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 28(4), 484–495.
Fraley, R. C., & Shaver, P. R. (2000). Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions. Review of General Psychology, 4(2), 132–154.
Mikulincer, M., & Shaver, P. R. (2016). Attachment in adulthood: Structure, dynamics, and change (2nd ed.). Guilford Press.
Miller, J. D., Lynam, D. R., Hyatt, C. S., & Campbell, W. K. (2017). Controversies in narcissism. Annual Review of Clinical Psychology, 13, 291–315.
Wurst, S. N., Gerlach, T. M., Dufner, M., Rauthmann, J. F., Grosz, M. P., Küfner, A. C. P., Denissen, J. J. A., & Back, M. D. (2017). Narcissism and romantic relationships: The differential impact of narcissistic admiration and rivalry. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 112(2), 280–306.