The 9 Love Addict Types

By Jim Hall, MS, Love Addiction Expert

The following is a brief excerpt of the nine love addict types I describe in a whole chapter in my book, The LOVE ADDICT in Love Addiction.

1- TYPICAL LOVE ADDICT

The Typical Love Addict illustrates, on the whole, the most common and recognized love addict type there is, demonstrating the most predictable relational patterns for the majority of people who fall into addictive relationships.

Time and again, they become preoccupied and obsessed with attaining or keeping the perfect person, "Soul mate", "Superman," or "Wonder Woman," who will make their lives meaningful and give them the unconditional love/positive regard they are so desperate for.

In their obsession, fantasy, and denial, they quickly fall into and become infatuated with a person in relationships-- typically with someone avoidant or narcissistic.

Essentially, their identity is formed only through their relationship with their partner. Because of impaired boundaries- they are in constant pursuit to merge with their partner; therefore, they become clingy and smother their partners.

They take all focus off themselves (escaping) while throwing themselves into their partner's life.

They try to earn love and attention to ensure they will not be left alone and abandoned, which is one of their greatest fears.

2- ROMANTIC LOVE ADDICT

Romantic Love Addicts are "romantic junkies" and relationship "hoppers"... they compulsively hop from one infatuated relationship to another in an attempt to keep their supply (dependency/addiction) going.

Initially, they often believe they're in love with a person they start a relationship with, but they don't truly fall in love.

Romantic Love Addicts are addicted to a fleeting fantasy built in their minds—and harbor false hopes that one day they will find the right person who can maintain the "rush," passion, and intensity indefinitely; which is an impossible task for anyone.

3- ANOREXIC LOVE ADDICT

The Anorexic Love Addict habitually chooses to steer clear of intimacy, avoiding both giving and receiving sexual or emotional contact. This leads to a rigid and compulsive avoidance of relationships, reflecting their emotional state.

They fall victim to an obsessive state in which the physical, mental, and emotional task of avoiding romantic relationships rules their life.

Again and again (sometimes it may be just one painful experience), they experience agonizing grief and emotional withdrawal when a relationship ends.

The Anorexic Love Addict comes to a point where they are tired of the pain, feeling let down and betrayed, and decide, "No more relationships."

In their distorted perception- the experience of feeling betrayed, abandoned, and rejected again and again is too much to take.

Anorexic Love Addict types move from one emotional polar extreme to the other with no in-between.

Their reality becomes either all black or all white (either desperate for love or desperate to keep away love).

4- NON-ROMANTIC LOVE ADDICT

The Non-Romantic Love Addict becomes obsessed with another person, but has nothing to do with love and romance. 

They can become obsessively addicted to anyone-- an acquaintance, friend, priest, teacher, co-worker, child, or celebrity.

Even if the Non-Romantic love addict is in a committed relationship or married- they can become emotionally attached, dependent upon, and addicted to someone outside without romantic or sexual intentions- including someone of the same sex.

5- AVOIDANT LOVE ADDICT

The Avoidant Love Addict type is the partner that Typical Love Addicts most commonly and repeatedly fall for in relationships.

They become dependent on their partner's neediness and are only attracted to people whom they can control, and will tolerate their distancing tactics.

They rely on feeling empowered on their partner who looks up to them, worships them, and puts them up on a pedestal, which provides a kind of narcissistic supply.

Traits of narcissism-- being wanted, needed, and worshiped is their drug. This is why they are attracted to partners who are love addicts in relationships. 

Having a sense of control in relationships is very important, and for some, this control fuels their grandiosity and sense of entitlement.

Feeling power—and, therefore, control over their needy love addict partner—gives them a source of self-worth and meaning in their own lives.

Moreover, it keeps them from intimately connecting and being vulnerable in relationships, which is often one of their greatest fear.

6- ABUSIVE LOVE ADDICT

The Abusive Love Addict is an individual who, in relationships, employs both emotional and physical abuse, violence, and intimidation.

Abusive Love Addicts virtually always attract ''Typical Love Addicts'' willing to tolerate callous and spiteful acts against them.

They exhibit the same elements of the emotionally unavailable type, the ''Avoidant Love Addict''- but with the added element of becoming abusive.

Their goal is to keep their partner in prison, emotionally and physically. They feel empowered and secure when they control their partner.

7- BATTERED LOVE ADDICT

Battered Love Addicts routinely tolerate and stay in relationships with ''Abusive Love Addict'' partners.  They fall into abusive relationships and become emotionally dependent on their partner at some level, despite the harm they receive.

Battered Love Addicts are usually women; however, a small percentage of males also fall into this category.

8- SEX AND LOVE ADDICT

The Sex and Love Addict type displays the uniform patterns of the Typical Love Addict, but the additional characteristic is that the Sex and Love Addict type is also highly preoccupied with sex and sexual fantasies with only ONE particular person, usually a romantic partner.

They aren't in love with their partner so much as they are in love with sexual acts with their partner. 

The Sex and Love Addict rarely seeks sex outside of a romantic relationship (unlike pure Sex Addicts). The sexual obsession with one partner becomes a significant driving force for staying in a relationship.

Like most love addicts, they will tolerate avoidance, misery, and pain in a relationship; however, they do it solely to maintain sexual intimacy with that one person. 

9- PARENTAL LOVE ADDICT

The Parental Love Addict type is a parent who loves too much, not a romantic partner, but their child.

The Parental Love Addict becomes dependent on and relies on one or more of their children for validation, as a means to escape their feelings of inner emptiness. They become enmeshed in their children's daily lives.

They see their children as extensions of themselves. Intensely over-involved with their children, they have a great need to make their children anything that makes them (the parent) feel secure and worthwhile.

They want their children to like and value them, but at the cost of not providing for the child's developmental needs. They placate, give, and do too much, leaving the child feeling inadequate or invalid, even suffocated.

They can't see that their children are doing badly while claiming to do good. They frequently violate their child's boundaries. They share too much information, vent, or manipulate a child for their own gain.

No matter the type of love addict you see yourself as, recovery is possible.

Get an in-depth understanding of the love addict in my 2025 revised article Love Addiction: A Comprehensive Guide to Understanding & Breaking Free

 Learn all about love addicts and their relationship patterns in my book on love and relationship addiction