- Each partner views and accepts the REALITY of who the other person.
- Each partner values his/her self and doesn't hide who they are (their reality) with from their partner.
- Each partner supports the other partner's goals and aspirations in life.
- Each partner doesn't rely only on the other to make them happy; they know they can be happy with or without a relationship.
- Each partner has his/her own individual interests and friends outside the relationship.
- Each partner is honest and communicates congruently which engenders trust for each other.
- In healthy love, partners do not try to mind read and assume what the other partner is doing or thinking; they practice healthy and open communication.
- Each partner accepts that they won't always feel "in love" and "passion" for each other.
- Each partner has healthy internal and external boundaries.
- Each partner takes responsibility for their actions or behaviors and takes responsibility in communicating healthy wants and needs in the relationship.
- Each partner is open to the others point of view.
- When problems arise in the relationship, both partners are open and willing to negotiate and compromise form solutions to the problem.
- Each partner talks and behaves in ways that promote the feelings of support, safety, and security within the relationship.
- Each partner accepts the others right to his/her feelings, wishes, opinions, activities, friends, interests, and beliefs- valuing the other as an individual, not an object.
- Verbal and physical threats are never used to manipulate and get needs and
I've worked with many love addicts who have had countless relationships that were full of nothing but pain and disappointment.
Their relationship history created a belief within that healthy love "isn't really out there, it doesn't exist, and is certainly not possible for me". If you feel this too -- I have a message for you: "don't buy into the lie".
The lie that you can't have a happy, fulfilling love relationship is your love addiction talking, period. Having a healthy, loving love relationship IS possible my friend.
A solid, meaningful, focused recovery path will help you break distortions like this one.
Having a Healthy Love Relationship really is possible.