15 Characteristics of a Healthy Love Relationship
By Jim Hall, MS, Love and Relationship Addiction Specialist
Healthy relationships are characterized by:
- Each partner accepts the REALITY of who the other person is.
- Each partner values his/her self and doesn't hide who they are (their reality) with their partner.
- Each partner supports the other partner's goals and aspirations in life.
- Each partner doesn't rely only on the other to make them happy; they know they can be happy with or without a relationship.
- Each partner has his/her interests and friends outside the relationship.
- Each partner is honest and communicates congruently, engendering trust in each other.
- In healthy love, partners do not try to mind-read and assume what the other partner is doing or thinking; they practice healthy and open communication.
- Each partner accepts that they won't always feel "in love" and "passion" for each other.
- Each partner has healthy internal and external boundaries.
- Each partner takes responsibility for their actions or behaviors and takes responsibility for communicating healthy wants and needs in the relationship.
- Each partner is open to the other's point of view.
- When problems arise in the relationship, both partners are open and willing to negotiate and compromise to form solutions to the problem.
- Each partner talks and behaves in ways that promote feelings of support, safety, and security within the relationship.
- Each partner accepts a partner's right to his/her feelings, wishes, opinions, activities, friends, interests, and beliefs- valuing the other as an individual, not an object.
- Verbal and physical threats are never used to manipulate and get needs and
I've worked with many love addicts who have had countless relationships full of pain and disappointment.
Their relationship history created a belief that "healthy love isn't really out there. It doesn't exist and is impossible for me."
If you've convinced yourself of this, too -- I have a message for you: "Don't buy it."
The lie that you can't have a happy, fulfilling love relationship is, as I often say,... "the deceitful voice of the love addiction talking aloud," period.
Having a healthy, loving love relationship IS possible, my friend.
A solid and focused recovery path can help you realize this truth.
No matter your history -- Healthy Love really is possible.