Addicted to Love: Celebrity Rehab and Rachel Uchitel
By Jim Hall MS, Love Addiction Recovery Specialist
Have you watched the VH1 show Celebrity Rehab?
When I first heard of people being "love addicted", my reaction was the same. It does sound kind of odd that love and addiction can blend as one type of addiction.
Admitted Celebrity Love Addict - Rachel Uchitel
Last year, Rachel Uchitel's face was splashed all over the tabloids as one of the other women in the Tiger Woods scandal.
Now she's back in the news as a participant in VH1's Celebrity Rehab.
For love addicts, having a meaningful and healthy (and what is truly fulfilling) relationship that's calm and without high intensity is actually uncomfortable, feels 'weird', and even feels boring. Love addicts, as well as their addictive lovers, cause a ton of drama.
Addictive lovers only know how to connect through --but deep inside they truly want to connect with, is that they are lovable, valuable, and accepted no matter what; without any fear of being abandoned.
What they fail to see (w/o intent)) is they need to learn (only through recovery) to be acquainted with deep inside is, "I am safe. I am lovable. I am valuable. I accept me. I am okay. And if a partner leaves for whatever reason, I am still lovable and worthwhile- no matter what."
To become healthy and recover, addictive lovers need to connect with their own personal inner preciousness as a human being-- in other words, to embrace that they are inherently worthy and valuable.
When this happens, authentic relationships with others can develop.
Shame and embarrassment often can make them run and avoid getting help. Unfortunately, running from the problem halts any chance of healing and resolving the real core issues.
When they run from love addiction and therefore themselves, they just continue the same patterns over and over, and over again.
They tell themselves, "I'll change", "Next time it will be different"- but it never is until the running stops.
Embarrassment is a feeling everyone lives with at times. Shame (toxic shame) is actually part of the big problem. These internal shame-based feelings often cause a love addict to deny or ignore the problem, and cannot be allowed to dictate which direction to go.
Acceptance is critical if love addicts are to break through their toxic and painful patterns of love addiction. It is not easy, but with acceptance, they'll see that it is a destructive addiction like any other. Once they see the commonalities, it will aid them to begin getting better.
Acceptance is critical if love addicts want to break their toxic and painful patterns of love addiction.
"What I've come to realize is that love addiction hasn't been recognized in the addiction community. I think it's the most common addiction that people suffer from and yet the least common addiction that people talk about or give credibility to. I hope one-day people will recognize love addiction as a real addiction. Just like they've come to understand that alcoholism is a disease. It's not a moral issue, it's a condition."