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"Change occurs when one
becomes what he/she is,
not when he/she tries to
become what he is not"

- A.Beisser-

The Love Avoidant
The Relationship Partner Love Addicts Love to "Love"

 

The Love Avoidant are romantic partners Love Addicts almost always attract in relationships in whom they become painfully attached.
creating an obsessive and become obsessed and preoccupied in relationships.

 

Being in a relationship with an avoidant can be frustrating for any one. They are emotionally like a turtle that repeatedly pulls into his shell when any emotional connection is attempted. For love addicts like- it is baffling to experience the contrast of the avoidant partner in the beginning of a relationship in comparison to the later avoidance stages.

 

In the initial stages of addictive relationships, avoidants will often form an immediate attachment idealizing the new person in their life (as the love addict does).

 



Initial Charm of Love Avoidant


They come on strong-- tend to be very charming, attentive, exhibit a seemingly friendly and self-confident exterior giving the appearance that they are available, independent, and stable. In reality, they hide their authentic self and own internal shame self behind rigid walls. They present a false image while using seduction to lure their partner in and make the love addict feel special.

 

The avoidants rigid boundaries or closed up walls - are opposite of the love addicts blurred and enmeshing boundaries. With rigid boundaries, they refuse to take in any information from others for fear of being controlled-- have impossible demands in relationships and unrealistic standards to be held up; display a false self or "ideal image" of themselves to the outside world, and are often punishing and unforgiving.

 

After the initial stages of addictive relationships, more and more of the avoidants traits begin to reveal the extent of their defensiveness through denying and minimizing problems, frozen feelings, and emotional inaccessibility. Often, narcissistic traits begin to exhibit themselves in relationships.

 

Avoidants have a great fear of intimacy (being known) - and tend to confuse emotional intimacy with engulfment. The feeling of engulfment is correlated to the fear of being used, controlled, and taken advantage of, and a deep resonant fear of loss, deprivation, and abandonment.

 

When the love addict wants more and more in the relationship, the avoidant feels as if they are literally suffocating and being engulfed by their partner? causing avoidants more distancing and avoidance.

 

Learn much more about the Love Avoidant partner Love Addicts draw in relationships...

Download and Read The Love Addict in Love Addiction  and learn about the love avoidants core emotional and behavioral characteristics and understand how they engage in the push-pull Relationship Pattern and how they create tactics to distance themselves from their love addict partner to avoid intimacy.


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Jim Hall Love & Relationship Addiction Solutions.  Treatment for Love Addiction. Copyright 2007-2013. All rights reserved.
All material provided on this site is copyrighted and for educational purposes only. LOVE ADDICTION HELP focuses on helping love addicts recover, heal, and overcome love addiction; healing from obsessive love; overcoming relationship dependency; and create healthy, happy relationships. Services & love addiction recovery content is not for purposes of treating or diagnosing mental illness. Your privacy is taken very seriously. Please read the private policy statement
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